Give Me One Good Reason Not To Divorce You.
- If you divorce me, I'll take a video and put it in my cringe comp, and you'll just look like an idiot.
- But your marriage license is so pristine!
- I pawned your grandma's heirloom short-shorts to buy that ring.
- But the scheduled posting time isn't for another half hour!
- It's 9:30 pm, we should be in bed!
- Our court appointment isn't for another half hour!
- I was crossing my fingers behind my back when I signed the marriage license, so we're not really married.
- If you divorce me, who will help you hide the bodies?
- Judge says if we get married one more time, we're going to jail.
- If we don't present a united front, we'll look like an easy target for our enemies.
- You're scheduled to be in court for a traffic ticket next Thursday, so you may as well wait until then.
- Your mom specifically told me to have a lovely anniversary.
- Without my administrative expertise, your life's work will all be for nothing.
- I'm taking you to see the Liberty Bell for the first time tomorrow, and I want everything to be perfect.
- If you divorce me, that'll be the last step in my decades long master plan... and finally. They'll all see.
- I pawned my grandma's heirloom short-shorts to buy that ring!
- Only my legal spouse is immune to this venom.
- I'm the last of my species...
- I'm so overdressed.
- I took the oath never to get divorced.
- Divorcing me psychically would pay much greater dividends.
- It's better to keep me where you can see me.
- My Xx_divorceluvr1996_xX back tattoo is not meant to be taken literally.
- My life insurance policy is not yet ready to be harvested.
- I couldn't inflict myself on anyone but you.
- You'll never know who would've won.
- *hastily shoving another set of divorce papers back into thigh holster* And ruin the surprise I planned for tomorrow?
- Well you can try, but you'll have to defeat the gauntlet of all my ex-wives first.
- You'll always be looking over your shoulder, wondering when I'll marry you again.
- Oh, divorce me or not, you never manage to kick me out of bed, so you may as well wait for morning.
- Why, then anyone could marry me.
- Poor fool. I know your secret. You really fell in love with me.
- Get off your high horse. You're complicit in my crimes now.
- All that trouble to break me out of prison, and you're just going to divorce me now?
- It won't break the psychic link, idiot; what's the point?
- Oh? And who's gonna break you outta the orb next time you get kidnapped?
- I've been using your brain to farm bitcoin! I'll be destitute!
- If we're not married, I have no reason to be here, and that would be very incriminating for you.
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