Give Me One Good Reason Not To Divorce You.

• If you divorce me, I'll take a video and put it in my cringe comp, and you'll just look like an idiot.
• But your marriage license is so pristine!
• I pawned your grandma's heirloom short-shorts to buy that ring.
• But the scheduled posting time isn't for another half hour!
• It's 9:30 pm, we should be in bed!
• Our court appointment isn't for another half hour!
• I was crossing my fingers behind my back when I signed the marriage license, so we're not really married.
• If you divorce me, who will help you hide the bodies?
• Judge says if we get married one more time, we're going to jail.
• If we don't present a united front, we'll look like an easy target for our enemies.
• You're scheduled to be in court for a traffic ticket next Thursday, so you may as well wait until then.
• Your mom specifically told me to have a lovely anniversary.
• Without my administrative expertise, your life's work will all be for nothing.
• I'm taking you to see the Liberty Bell for the first time tomorrow, and I want everything to be perfect.
• If you divorce me, that'll be the last step in my decades long master plan... and finally. They'll all see.
• I pawned my grandma's heirloom short-shorts to buy that ring!
• Only my legal spouse is immune to this venom.
• I'm the last of my species...
• I'm so overdressed.
• I took the oath never to get divorced.
• Divorcing me psychically would pay much greater dividends.
• It's better to keep me where you can see me.
• My Xx_divorceluvr1996_xX back tattoo is not meant to be taken literally.
• My life insurance policy is not yet ready to be harvested.
• I couldn't inflict myself on anyone but you.
• You'll never know who would've won.
• *hastily shoving another set of divorce papers back into thigh holster* And ruin the surprise I planned for tomorrow?
• Well you can try, but you'll have to defeat the gauntlet of all my ex-wives first.
• You'll always be looking over your shoulder, wondering when I'll marry you again.
• Oh, divorce me or not, you never manage to kick me out of bed, so you may as well wait for morning.
• Why, then anyone could marry me.
• Poor fool. I know your secret. You really fell in love with me.
• Get off your high horse. You're complicit in my crimes now.
• All that trouble to break me out of prison, and you're just going to divorce me now?
• It won't break the psychic link, idiot; what's the point?
• Oh? And who's gonna break you outta the orb next time you get kidnapped?
• I've been using your brain to farm bitcoin! I'll be destitute!
• If we're not married, I have no reason to be here, and that would be very incriminating for you.

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